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Are You Asking the Right Questions?

Good morning, Friends!

I’ve had a packed week! I’ve set up my blog’s legal pages (more on that next week), set up my business as an official LLC, and went to a four-hour virtual event with my mentors and Alex Jeffreys. It was an intense, though exciting week, and I am ready for the break of our weekend!

I’m also on a journey to get more fit. Shrinking confession: I got one of those scales that measures your overall fat… I’m over 30% fat. I must get more muscle.

So, as one does, I’ve been looking for some motivational help, someone to whip me into the right mental state. I’ve been listening to Tony Robbins, and that’s where this week’s post comes from.

The Power of Questions

Tony Robbins says something like a riddle: The answers are in the questions. He explains by saying if we ask lousy questions, we’ll get lousy answers. Instead, ask a positive question and get a guiding answer.

Let me share some eye-opening examples that really show this in action…

Weight Loss Wisdom

Easy example: Why can’t I lose weight?

I can give you negative answers about why I can’t lose ten pounds. I’m lazy, like cake more than myself, etc. The lousy question, lousy, biting answer.

Instead, ask, Why do I want to lose weight? Well, that ten pounds makes a difference in my energy level. I feel better. Etc.

Et voila! The inspiring answer will guide me to lose weight.

Hence, the answer is in asking the right questions.

Sometimes, the method is as simple as asking a positive rather than a negative question.

Money Mindset Magic

Here’s another one that hit close to home. I used to ask myself, “Why am I so bad at saving money?” And guess what answers I got?

“Because you love Amazon and Walmart delivery too much, ” “Because you’re not disciplined enough,” “Because you’ll never be good with money like your sister is.”

Talk about depressing, right?

But then I took a tip from Tony: “What small changes would help me save $100 this month?”

Suddenly my brain started working WITH me instead of against me:

• I could spend a bit more at the grocery store to make a special supper on Friday nights rather than go out.
• I could unsubscribe from those tempting Yankee Candle/Bath and Body emails
• I could order from Amazon only once a week to give me time to consider if I really need that gnome coloring book

See how different that feels? One question leads to shame, the other leads to solutions!

Time Management Transformation

This one’s a game-changer.

Instead of asking “Why don’t I have time to do all I need to do?” (which, let’s be honest, just makes us feel overwhelmed and stuck), try asking “What matters most to me right now?”

Asking this better question helped me realize I don’t really have to do everything swirling around in my head. Some things are more important to me than others.

Thinking about what is most important to me helped me to prioritize and plan my day based on activities rather than just doing a bunch of things that take the least time first so they get done. Added up, these little things tend to take up a lot of time while they aren’t really what is important to me.

Now, asking what matters to me, I can focus on what really deserves my time.

Relationship Revelations

Here’s one that might surprise you as it did me.

Rather than asking “Why don’t they understand me?” (which focuses on what’s wrong), flip it to “How can I communicate my needs more clearly?”

Yeah, Tony goes deep…

This simple switch helps me take responsibility for myself in the conversation and actually improve my relationships instead of just complaining about them.

Who Not How

But what do you do when the question isn’t negative?

Try changing the question word.

Let’s bring this back to affiliate marketing. Have you ever been stuck trying to make things work?  I know my husband and I were stuck for some time. We’d tried different affiliate marketing programs and were very confused and frustrated. Our experience was that we’d progress, and then the coaching would be unreachable. Or, they’d want more money before they’d answer any more questions. So frustrating!

We just wanted to know how to do affiliate marketing.

Finally, we asked the better question. Quite by accident.

I’d ordered The Iceberg Effect because it promised to explain affiliate marketing in broad terms, outside and not limited to using a specific brand.

This is what I needed!

I listened to the audiobook twice in two days before the hard copy even arrived. I listened to all the bonuses and then I listened to them again.

I knew I had found my Who. I no longer needed to ask how to do affiliate marketing, Dean had explained the theory, and because I’d found the who who could guide me through the practical steps.

This was the more guiding answer. I finally knew my next steps forward.

Notice Something Different?

I usually don’t promote my mentor directly, but I realized I have an answer to what you might be looking for by answering who can help you get there faster.

I know because I’ve gotten the answer to all the help I need. Even when I don’t know what question to ask, my coaches have been through my experience, so they know the questions.

When I show up and say I don’t even know what I don’t know to ask, I just know I need help (Here’s an example from the past.), they inevitably know what I need to hear.

So, I wanted to tell you again how I got started and suggest you try these mentors.

I ordered the book, devoured it, and next jumped straight into their accelerator program. I wanted in even though they hadn’t gone out of their way to promote it!

The company also has something called Quick Start Challenge if you want to test out the training and company before investing. The Quick Start Challenge is a series of videos designed to get your list-building funnel created in as little as seven days. It includes six weeks of training to answer any questions you may have along the way. It’s a great way to experience progress quickly, get your feet wet, and experience for yourself the help I prize.

Your Turn to Transform

What “lousy questions” have you been asking yourself? Try this quick exercise:

1. Write down a negative question that’s been spinning in your mind.
2. Flip the wording to focus on solutions or possibilities
3. Notice how different answers emerge

It feels like relief, right?

Conclusion

I hope this post helps you recognize when you are asking “lousy questions” and reframe them into positive questions that guide you in the right direction.

Instead of asking how to succeed in affiliate marketing, are you ready to ask who can help you get there faster?

Share your thoughts and any questions you may have in the comments below!

Ciao for now,